When Chuck Norris Talks Everyone Listens

• Diamonds can scratch any surface...except Chuck Norris
• If Chuck Norris was late coming home when he was young, his parents were grounded.
• Chuck Norris can tie his shoes...with his feet!
• If Chuck Norris had Facebook, he'd dare you to Poke him.
• Yes Veronica, there is a Chuck Norris.
• When Chuck Norris was young he kicked the planet...it still hasn't stopped spinning.
• Dinosaurs aren't dead...they're hiding from Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris is the only person with a Dislike button on Facebook.
• Dairy Queen is working on a Chuck Norris flavored shake...you'll have to sign a consent.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet...he scares the sh!t out of it.
• Chuck Norris is the reason you can't find Waldo.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need Twitter...he's already following you.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need caller ID...he knows who you are
• Alcohol becomes stronger after passing it through Chuck Norris.